BAD GUYS

by BAD GUYS

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about

BAD GUYS debut album
To be released on Riot Season Feb 2013

credits

released 01 February 2013

Recorded & Mixed By James Ogilvie
at Dropout Studios
Cover Art by Toby Evans
Photography by Sanna Charles

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about

Bad Guys London, UK

NEW ALBUM RECORDED. from a midlander, a southerner, a Canadian and a Hungarian. Three necks, two kicks and no mic stand. Long hair, grey hair, bald-heads and beards. A shitload of rock. The works. As well as playing with the likes of Circle and Oxes, these guys have earned a reputation for crashing all sorts of parties. They make the heavy stuff and they play it loud, the way it should be. ... more

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Track Name: Brick Toothpick
I’ll eat the face off a cliff
Using a brick as a toothpick
Writing my name in striations
Right back to Paleolithic years
Oh yeah

My lips are bark
My eyes are volcanic
Blood thicker than lava
And I’ll drown you in it
‘Cause you’re fucking nothing
When we get down to it
Your world my creation
And now no-one’s in it
Track Name: Fake Tan
You’ve got to
You’ve got to make them come to you
Oh make them work for it
Let the ball do the work
Not so subservient you understand?
This applies all over like fake tan
You’ve got to be hard to reach
Like bleach to an infant

I hope this works for you
I really do

The truth is avoided
Oh it’s null and it’s voided
It is by the way
In a successful play
And by the way
I mean to the wayside
Way over there
Out of the way
So it doesn’t get in the way
Track Name: Bore
Part 1 – Courting

Doesn’t like seafood
Doesn’t like sports
Doesn’t like punk
Doesn’t like kids
She likes to cycle
She likes the French new wave
She loves dogs
She enjoys the sight of a building site
She finds it interesting
This is all fine
This is all fine
Do you like swimming?
Do you like pork?
Do you like to read books?
Are you a fucking bore?
Do you complain about everything?
Are you always changing your mind?
Do you care about anything?
What size food do you buy?
Are you always changing your hair?
Do you even fucking care?
Are you always going to be there
Getting in my hair?
Will you always borrow my shit?
Will I hate you because of it?
Or will I find it endearing
When you make me wear an earring?

Oh you like that movie
Oh you like that book
Oh you like that activity
Oh it’s so fucking endearing
Oh we’ve got so much in common

I don’t like seafood
I don’t like sports
I don’t like punk
I don’t like kids
I like to cycle
I like the French new wave
I LOVE dogs
I enjoy the sight of a building site
Sure why not
It’s man conquers the world
with little concrete blocks
Well it’s nice to know you know
We like the same stuff
But it’s all a load of guff
Because none of it really matters
It doesn’t matter at all
In the grand scheme
Of our personal relationship
Forget all the other shit
And just get down to business
When all I want to do
And all you want to do
And all we’ll ever do
What’s going through our heads
Is just touch your legs

Part 2 – Lovemaking

I choose you
I choose you
I choose you
I’ll tell you why

I can look at your face baby
I can look at your face baby
I look at your face
And it doesn’t make me want to be sick

I like that ass honey
That big round ass baby
Oh it’s shape not size that’s important

Now show me your legs
Show me your legs
Show me your legs
I want to see those legs

I like those titties baby
Those little round titties baby
Little palm size titties
With little pink noses

I like those legs honey
Those long slim legs baby
Oh I want to lick them

Now show me your legs
Show me your legs
Show me your legs
One look at those legs baby and I’m done
Track Name: My Love is Disgusting
No
No
No I don’t want to
I don’t want to drag you along the floor by your hair
That’s sexual abuse*

But I’m afraid I must insist
‘Cause my heart burns like a burst cyst
And your love fits like a glove around my fist

Let’s try a little experiment with you
Try a little experiment with you
Put a pump in my ass
A petrol pump in my ass
And pump it
And pump it
And pump it
And you can make blood and petrol come out of there
Is that what you want to see?
Blood and petrol coming out of my ass?
“No” she says “That’s disgusting”

Well my love is disgusting
Put your finger in my ring

(nasal whining)

(perverted muttering)

*It’s actually physical abuse, not necessarily sexual
Track Name: Alcowhore
Alcowhore woman
Can’t ignore you
You’re abhorred too
But adored when
Touch my lips again
My alcowhore woman

Bad times bringer
Old gin slinger
Warmonger
Raw hunger

Alcowhore woman
You’re a bore woman
Track Name: Witness a New Low
Old man’s shadow
Young men follow
Drawn in sorrow
Stupid’s arrow
Straight between the eyes

Straight as the black crow goes
I’ll be the source of your woes
The darkness inside us grows
As we strive for all new lows

Woman you’ve got to realise
We’re not like those other guys
We’ll come into your lives
A rancid plague of black flies

Night after night after night
Lie after lie after lie
You let us between those thighs
Why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why?

It’s a sad shame
Such a sad sad shame
Part of a wicked game
That you are wont to play

We will beat you
We are gods
We can tear your world apart
No sorrow
No remorse
Four men out of hell on a horse

You must love this
You must love this
You must love this
You must love this
Or why would you do it?
Why would you do it?
Why would you do it?
Why would you do it?

We have four members
Part of a larger number
Awoken from our slumber
We are Satan’s brothers
Track Name: Boat
I’m going to need some wood
And I need some nails
And I need to buy a hammer
And some canvas for the sails
And I need to buy a raincoat
For the inevitable storms
And appropriate footwear
And some insurance forms

I’m going to murder you on a boat
I’m going to murder you on a boat

I’ll dismantle the boat
Strangle you with the sails
And drive the nails
Into your forehead

And we’ll sink down
We’ll sink down
To the bottom of the ocean
To the bottom of the sea
And I’ll leave you there
With the debris

And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise to the surface
And I’ll swim to the shore
And I’ll grow legs and walk to your door

To kill again
To kill again
To kill again
To kill again
To kill again
Track Name: Fat Labrador
Just down my road walking
Just down my road waiting
Around the block ambling
Outside my house haunting

Why don’t you leave my area?
It’s exasperating
Every time I leave my house
It’s frightening
Fat Labrador
Outside my window

You, your child, your dog
You, your child, your dog
Fuck you, your child, your dog
You, your child, your dog

Why don’t you learn to get the fuck out of my area?

You, your child, your dog
You, your child, your dog
Fuck you, your child, your dog
You, your child, your dog

And I go to the park and you’re there
And I go to the chip shop and you’re there
And I walk out of my gate and you’re there
Do you even know where you live?

There’s something I can’t understand
That I just fail to grasp
Is if all you do is walk around all day
How come you don’t look exercised?

For five years I’ve lived in this place
And every day the same shitty face
With the same shitty dog
And the same shitty kid
I wish you were dead
I wish you were dead

Yeah ha ha ha

Why don’t you leave my area?
Track Name: Hurl
He walks out of the bar
And drains the last drop
A man intent on fucking someone
Or fucking someone up

Three challengers lingering
One in a hat
One with a beard
One eating a burrito
All of them assholes

I/He picks the beard
Fucking beardman
Weird fucking lips
A hairy Elvis
I’ll fuck your shit up beardman
I’ll fuck your hairy lips
Get your weird beard over here man
You hairy weird lipped prick come suck my fucking dick

And so I take a swing at him
And I completely fucking miss
And so I start to sing at him
Because I’m completely fucking pissed
Where did you get that beard man?
Where did you get that beard?
Did you get it out of your wig bag
With your stupid fucking hair?

And then he punches me
Er punches me down
And down I go
And I’m sick
I’m sick
I’m sick

I get up on one knee
And everybody is looking at me
Ashamed
Covered in sick
I feel like a fucking dick
You’ve been here before man
You’ve been here before
Don’t judge me on this one thing
Me lying on the floor
Just had a bad day at work man
This really isn’t my scene
You’ve had a bad day at work man
You know what I mean
Because you’re the fucking beardman
You’ve got a fucking beard
I’ve got a weird beard too man
Let’s get a fucking beer
You’re the fucking beardman
You’ve got a fucking beard
I’ve got a weird beard too man
Let’s get a fucking beer
Let’s get a fucking beer
Let’s get a fucking beer